mommy's mistake

My youngest child, Gabriel, was walking around with his dirty face and hands up in the air, looking quite distressed. He kept repeating "Fa cough, fa cough, fa cough..." (I am spelling it so no one will be offended). I was completely startled that he knew such words at the tender, innocent age of 2. I couldn't understand where he could have possibly heard this language. No one here would say such smut.
No one but his father on occasion, and maybe, sometimes, after a few too many telemarketers have caused me to drop what I was doing and run for the phone with the expectation that it just might be the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation finally ringing me to notify me of my jackpot win, only to stumble in my stretch for the handset across the laundry decorated dining room table. The stumble causes me to plow through the recently folded but not-yet-put-away drifts of freshly cleaned toddler clothes. Scattering the yet to be matched socks and now adding to the frustration of the mediocrity of my life. I claw the handset and blindly push the buttons before the last ring sends the caller to voice mail oblivion. At least that's what it is in my house - who has time to check personal voice mail? "This is an important message from... (brief pause where I clench my eyes waiting to hear the letters, O-L-G, only to be irritated with...) your Credit Card company. You are paying too much interest! Please wait while we connect you to one of our operators to see how you can decrease your rates..." The wait is eternal. How dare they keep me on hold for so long? Ten minutes go by. I hear a click. Oh good, I'll be next to be served! Then another click.
Followed by the dial tone.
"FAAAAAAaaaaa Coooooooooouuuuuuugh!" I scream into the phone. My children are startled out of their imaginary play world of talking trains and kleenex confetti snow flakes. I breathe deep and anounce, "T

Finally, he got real angry, face turning red, with teeth clenched, he looks me straight in the eye and screams "Faaaaaa... cough!!!!!" It was only then that I realized my dirty little boy was demanding a "Face cloth" I am such a bad mom.